Thursday, August 25, 2011

Trusting God

Trailer Park

Why is it SO hard to trust God?  We blindly trust so much in this world that we live in, right?  But then we have been let down by this world in so many ways.  We may not understand God’s way, but He never truly lets us down.  And yet we have a hard time just being what He made us to be, don’t we?  If we are honest, we want what WE want, and we want it how WE want it, don’t we?

As I write this I am struggling with trusting God.  Within the next month we will be leaving the nice home that we have been living in with the big yard and move into a 1985 singlewide trailer with the aluminum siding in a trailer park. 

The trailer isn’t disgusting or falling apart, it’s perfectly livable as is.  It can be paid for in cash easily, and it’s in a nice park that’s safe and clean.  The problem isn’t the trailer, or the park, the problem is me.  I’m scared.  I’m honestly scared that we won’t be able to get out of  this trailer after we are in it.  What if we can’t even give the trailer away when we are done living in it?  What if we are stuck paying lot rent on something we no longer want when it’s time to move?  What if we have to pay to get rid of it? (Read the message God sent through Moses to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 31:6)  

These are valid fears for me.  You see we lived in a doublewide in a trailer park a few years back.  We bought it new.  We were paying about $900 a month between the house payment, lot rent, and water.  And then my hubby lost his job.  Suddenly our finances began to make a horrible downward spiral.  Eventually he found another job, but even so we still couldn’t afford all of the financial commitments that we had made.  Something had to give.  The “mortgage” company made it clear.  Sell it, give us the same payment that you always have, or get out and give us the home. 

It became more and more apparent that bankruptcy was our only option in this circumstance.  We needed to give back the house.  For us it felt like failure in it’s truest form, and we are still working through emotions connected to that.  That and the SLOW recovery of our finances have changed the whole dynamic of our family.  It is a slow healing process, but it’s happening.  And now we are moving back into a trailer again, in a trailer park. 

Fortunately for me, God is showing me that He IS GOOD!  He is patient in my healing.  He is compassionate in my pain.  He is working to give us “a hope and a future” (Read Jeremiah 29:10-14).  The problem is not the trailer.  It just may be part of my healing process.  The only thing making me miserable right now is me.

I will, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  His love endures forever!” (Read Psalm 136

Thank you Lord, for a reasonably priced place to live, and a roof over my head.  And thank you for the love you freely offer all of us, even when we struggle with our own fears and doubts.  Please continue to help us to trust in you, even when the way that you have for us doesn’t make sense.  Amen

Blessings ;)                     

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Heaven and Real Life


“ . . . it’s like going to the playground and never having to come home!”  -our almost 9 year old son explaining heaven to our 3 1/2 year old daughter

This was one of those “Wow!” moments, when you get a glimpse into the faith of a child and you realize that they get it!  They really understand . . . at least in part . . . something so complex and beautiful that most adults don’t get it.  They are in true faith in God.

My son made something that we can make so complex simple again.  Heaven is a real place.  It is a wonderful place.  It’s where God is.  And for those of us that believe in God, and Jesus as God’s son, we have a future home there.

Real life is not pretty all the time.  In fact sometimes it is downright ugly!  As I write this there is a whole lot of ugly threatening to overshadow the blessings and provision that God has for my own family.  But still I will trust Him.  He’s never let me down before.  And for that I give Him thanks and praise.

Lord, thank you for reminding me that the situations and things of this world are temporary.  My hope is in you, and you will not let me down.  And not only that, you have a home for me greater than any home here on earth.  You, Lord God, are my perfect parent and the source of all that I need.  Thank you everything that you do for me. Amen

Blessings to you all ;)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Road To Emmaus

Road- Ink Sketch

Emmaus?  What is Emmaus?  Actually Emmaus is not a what but a where.  It was on the road to Emmaus that Jesus appeared to two believers after he died, appearing as another traveler.  (Read the story here in Luke)

You see, Jesus had just been crucified and had risen from the dead.  It was amazing and truly beyond belief.  And these two were so focused on Jesus’ death and their disappointment over what they expected him to be, that they couldn’t see him for what he truly was.  They failed to do this BOTH literally and figuratively.  Think about that for a moment.  So Jesus quotes the scriptures concerning who he is all the way through and opens their eyes to the fact that he is who the scriptures say he is.  And then he reveals himself as Jesus later as he gives thanks and  breaks the bread.  They see him as he is in scripture, and then they see who he is physically, and then he disappears!

Flash forward to 2005 . . . it is Easter and I cannot see Jesus and celebrate his resurrection through the horrible week that I’ve just had.  To top it off I am sitting one of the “overflow seats” along the back wall of the church, one of the few left.  I say a simple prayer that I might be able to focus on Jesus and his resurrection and lay my head on my husband’s shoulder with a sigh. 

Suddenly I hear a gentle male voice say, “I love you.”  Who said that?  I look at my husband, and he says, “Huh?”  He didn’t say it.  There was no one else around me that would say that.

Instinctively I turn to look behind me, and a tear falls down my cheek as I come face to face with the gigantic print hanging right above my seat.  It’s of Jesus on the cross, and it is a close up of his upper body at an angle.  His right hand extends toward the viewer and seems to be saying, “I love you” in sign language.  (You can view the print here.)

I was so focused on my disappointments that I couldn’t see him.  I couldn’t see that he was there the whole time, loving me.  So he physically told me.  He revealed himself to me and then disappeared.

Two weeks after that Easter I became a member at that church.  The reading was the story about the believers on the road to Emmaus.  Now I could relate!  Now it was personal!  That day God called me, someone that was deathly afraid to speak in public, to share this story in front of almost 600 people after the service.  God spoke through me to tell of a love that he offers to all of us in abundance. 

Through others, he offered me encouragement that day, including a person that I barely knew that said that she was happy that others were encouraging me because “she would hate to think this (me sharing in front of others) was a one time thing”.  And then, as I walked out of church, God healed me.  He healed me of the anxiety and lack of confidence that had crippled my ability to share His love with others.

God is patient.  He keeps His promises.  He loves us deeply.  He blesses obedience to Him when He calls for us to do something.  He continues to reveal Himself to me when I earnestly seek Him.  This is my Emmaus Awakening.

I welcome you to seek yours, with the One that loves you infinitely more than any one on earth. The One that offers more than anything this world has to offer.  God.

Blessings ;)