Thursday, September 22, 2011

If God Is The “I AM”, Who Am I?

This is a question that I’ve had so many times on my journey to adulthood spiritual maturity.  (Read 1 Peter 2:1-3)

Who am I?  I know that I have a purpose, but what is it?  As a young adult of about 20, I had a moment of calling.  It was a day like any other day, but at the same time beautiful and sunny.  As I drove down the road, in the car by myself, suddenly something felt different.  I felt called to do something great for God, but I had no idea what.  The feeling was weird and amazing all at once.  And my reaction was much like Moses’ reaction when called to lead the Israelites.  “Me?!  But I’m broken!”  I didn’t feel qualified to do something great in my own life, let alone something great for God.

In that moment He gave me the vision of men’s work boots pulverizing glass on a concrete floor.  Then the glass was loaded into a furnace and formed into the most beautiful and colorful vase that I have ever seen.  I felt that God was telling me that any brokenness that He was to allow in my life was simply a means of making me into the beautiful work of art that He’d meant for me to be.  I wouldn’t fully realize the true meaning of this until I had gone through the first 12 years of marriage with my husband.

We have now run the gamut of our original marital vows to each other.  We have been richer, poorer, better, worse, sick, and in health.  We’ve had a lot of the good, some of the bad, and a little of the ugly in our life and marriage together.  However just as “a cord of three strands is not easily broken”, so a marriage with God as the third strand will be able to find growth and learning even in adversity.  Even after 12 years of marriage, depression, post-partum depression, two lay-offs, bankruptcy, and other financial challenges, I can still say honestly that my husband is my soul mate, best friend, and partner in ministry.  We are a team, my hubby, God, and I, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After 11 years of marriage my husband and I decided to join a push to involve more church members in a small group bible study.  Needless to say God’s plan was a little different.  We have now hosted a bible study for the homeless and needy in our church for over a year now, and are loving it!  We spend time with our friends there during the study, and afterwards during dinner.  And our three beautiful children join us, and are not afraid to say hi or talk to someone that is homeless.  Everything we have been through in the 11 years before this has trained and prepared us to serve in “such a time as this”.

Thank you Lord for all of the experiences, details, and plans that help to create the masterpiece that you see in me.  Please guide me in times of stress or trouble during my “training”, and help me to glean whatever wisdom you wish for me to learn and use to grow for you.  I love you Lord!  Thank you for being my guidance and provision in everything that comes my way. Amen

1 comment:

  1. Read this on a church sign:

    Maybe God is waiting for you to send Him a sign.

    This kinda hit home, because as you know I'm not a outspoken person and don't feel comfortable about doing it... but maybe that's the point, by putting myself out there for Him, it would be showing Him a sign.