(Note: This is not the same experience that you would have at every Mennonite church. This is in regards to the conservative Mennonite churches that we visited. As a friend of mine once said, “There are many ‘flavors’ of Mennonites.” This is just by perspective on our personal experience. Nothing more.)
So, now we were well on our way to living as Mennonites, or at least strongly steering in that direction. What does their world look like? Well, I will say that it is vastly different looking when you are on the outside completely. You have some idea when you spend some time with them about once every three weeks, as we did in Michigan. But, going to their church every week, and living among them, is so different from either of those that you can’t fully understand it if you don’t try living it.
As we prepared our move, as I’ve said, we were going to a (moderately) conservative Mennonite church in Michigan about every three weeks. In other words, we were getting a taste of Mennonite life. We thought we knew what we were getting into, but we didn’t . . . yet.
Let me give you a picture of how this limited view only serves to feed our romanticized view of Anabaptist life. Imagine that you are new at a Mennonite church. The building looks something like the church/school building out of the “Little House on the Prairie” TV show. There is only a simple wooden clock on the wall, no cross. The men and boys walk in with black dress pants, and white button down shirts. Women and girls all wear neatly ironed homemade dresses. The girls all have braids down their backs. The women all have their hair in a neat, tight bun under their perfectly starched caps (head coverings), and their dresses have “capes” (a fabric panel over the upper torso for modesty).
You walk in, and all of the women stand around talking together like a bunch of little school girls, but quiet and proper like all the same. The girls cluster nearby. The women talk politely and animatedly about their week. They ask you how your week was, and tell you about what they did, where they went, what they canned or sewed that week, etc. There might be a newly courting couple mentioned, or a new marriage, or baby.
The men stand to the other side of the building talking about what they did that week, the boys cluster to talk nearby. The men talk about how work went (many of them farm, are in building trades, or own their own businesses). They might be looking for good weather to harvest their fields, or maybe they are building a new out building, etc..
At first, it is kind of refreshing really. There is no swearing, or vulgar jokes. That is really quite nice!
Now it is about five minutes till church starts. As if on a timer, everyone mechanically files in to sit down. The women and children sit on one side, the men on the other. The elderly sit up front in the respective “Amen corners”, then the youth (teens) are near the front on either side, then the adults behind them with the smaller children. They all stop talking to quietly prepare their hearts to worship God.
As the service starts a man leads the singing of the hymns, all sung in four-part harmony. (They believe that there are no instruments mentioned in the New Testament other then those played by angels, so therefore instruments have no part in their lives and worship. All music is a Capella, voices only.) And as they practice singing in their church schools from a young age, it sounds beautiful.
I can’t for sure remember the order now, but then there is Sunday School time, a minister might share a personal testimony, there is prayer time (knees on the wood or carpeted floor, no kneeler, facing the bench), and a sermon and more singing. The service starts at 10 am and ends at 12 noon, almost exactly, every week for the Sunday morning service.
As soon as everyone is released from the service the talking resumes. If you are new, you will get asked a lot of questions. They want to know everything about you. And everyone wants to invite you over for dinner (lunch). (Among Mennonite households, cleaning is done on Saturdays by the entire family, just in case they have guests on Sunday.) In fact, if you keep attending church there, expect to receive at least one invitation every week until every family has had you to their home.
As you go into the conservative Mennonite home you will probably notice the absence of many things. They might listen to a Capella hymn recordings, but they would not listen to other music, nor would they listen to the radio. There is no TV, or internet (generally), but there might be a computer (stripped down by the church to their standards, to avoid temptation). The home and furnishings are simple, and there is a lot of woodwork, beautiful woodwork. It is very homey, with a large kitchen table typically.
The wife and any daughters help put the meal on, while the men visit in the living room until the meal is ready. They won’t make a woman that is a guest from “the outside” help, but you will definitely impress them if you do.
Finally, the food is on the table, and everyone sits around it. It is a huge amount of food. There is a main dish, many sides, fresh baked bread, homemade jam, and homemade dessert. You start to drool, and boy are you hungry!
The man of the house starts the prayer, often times praying for the family or families eating with them that day. Then the passing around of the food begins.
After dinner, all of the women and older girls do dishes, and then put them all away. A lively conversation happens throughout. The men are again lounging and talking in the meantime.
Now the children play. The adults either talk together as couples, or as a group of men and a group of women. The visiting lasts for a few hours, until it is time to leave, or go to the next house for supper. (Sometimes, if two families want to invite you over, the second one to ask will invite you over for supper after dinner at the first house.)
Coming home from all of this is exciting. You see a group of people with no noticeable church politics, no fancy church building or houses, who seemingly like everyone else, and would do anything for each other, that don’t swear or talk badly about anyone else or say anything even unpleasant. It honestly feels like a wonderful parallel imaginary world, at first. But, as you learn more, you realize that as natural as all of this looks . . . it’s not really. They are human too, and there is a lot more to it . . .
